33 Easy Speaking Hacks to Make You Sound Smarter

The next best thing to being an intelligent person is having people think you’re intelligent. Of course there are things you can do to become brainier; going to college springs to mind. But let’s face it, these methods take a long time, and they’re no help for you trying to impress that girl or guy at that party you’re at right now. Don’t drop out of school, but these speaking hacks will help you come across as being smarter than the average bear. Just please don’t be that guy who uses them all in one night.

1. Memorize a fact and drop it into a conversation Since all you’re trying to do is sound smarter, before you head to a cocktail party memorize a little-known fact, like Princes Charles and William will never travel on the same plane so that in the event of a crash, at least one will survive to protect the throne.
3. Even if you’re brilliant, you won’t sound that way if you present your case weakly. Don’t worry about what people are thinking about you and focus on making your point forcefully.
   
4. Steer the conversation Instead of trying to fake your way through a conversation on a topic you’re clueless about, subtly direct it into an area more up your alley and go to town.
   
5. Nail down “who” and “whom” It’s always funny when someone clearly trying to sound more intelligent misuses “whom.” Here’s the way to tell: just answer the question. Who did it? He did. Whom should I thank? Thank him.
   
6. Memorize pi Have this one ready to go when someone says the word “pie.” Learn it to a max of 50 places; it’s long enough that no one will upstage you.
   
7. Fake a British accent I say, our friends across the pond sound ever so much smarter than us Yanks. Obviously the goal here is British scientist, not Russell Brand.
   
8. Cut out crutch words It’s tough to sound smart when you say “like” and “um” every few seconds. Train yourself not to resort to these crutch words.
   
9. Don’t commit If you never speak, you won’t sound dumb but you sure won’t sound any smarter. Instead, hedge. Say “I’m waiting for more conclusive evidence” when pressed for your opinion.
   
10. Beat around the bush When you’re talking business, hedging is also known as using jargon. With a crowd of people who aren’t in your industry, use all those acronyms and industry-speak that a colleague would get but will mystify the uninitiated.
    
11. Criticize intangibles This was designed for a work environment but it applies anywhere. An easy way to sound superior is to dog other people on unquantifiable traits like motivational skills or how much they’re a team player.
    


12. Fabricate statistics No one is really going to check that crazy figure you made up to back up your interesting story. If they do, just say you mixed up the magazine you got it from. Was it GQ? Or maybe it was Men’s Journal?